basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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