he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize