Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
