This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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