oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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