fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
