Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
