why didn't you poke me back
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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