Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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