summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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