So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
