I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
The air taste purple.
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