New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
