The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
