Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
