just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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