I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i've created a new STD.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
