I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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