The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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