I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
