What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
