glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
