Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
