If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
