I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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