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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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