Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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