Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
