Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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