Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
