Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
