If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
