At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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