I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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