like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
