East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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