I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
