but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
