p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
