new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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