OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
