Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
