I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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