If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
