i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
