omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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