even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
