I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
