Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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