Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
