Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
